I sat in the Dublin airport with my face in my hands. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks and as I thought about where I was heading — home.
It’s funny. A year ago I had sat in the same terminal waiting for a flight to Boston with the same hot tears running from my eyes. But this time, it was different. A year ago I was ready to leave to Europe, I wanted to go back to Maine — to see my family, friends and the beautiful coast. A little over a week ago, I was sad to be done my travels, I was sad to be going back home.
Before I left for my trip I wasn’t sure how many months would be too long or too short. I took a guess and made sure I’d use my 90 day tourist visa to the max and go from there whether I find work to make extra money or if I had properly made a budget, still had money of my own saved to spend. But neither of those options panned out.
I ran out of money with a month left of my travels and had to call home to ask for a little help. After mustering up the courage to ask for money, my mom transferred enough to get me through the next four weeks in the UK which lasted me juuuuuuuust. till. the. very. end.
Which brings me back to Dublin and my tear stained cheeks.
Before I found myself in that moment of sadness to be leaving a place I finally felt at home in, I had only been in London that very morning — with my best friend. I had spent the previous two weeks wandering the streets of the city, of different neighborhoods, listening to live music and drinking endless amounts of coffees in tucked away cafes. It was as if I were finding a part of myself again I had been missing for the past year. I found the happiness I had been searching for — I had found London (& Libby).
As much as I love Maine, my family & friends — I wasn’t ready to leave what I had just started to call home. I wasn’t ready to pack up my things in a beautiful city to move home to my small town. I didn’t want to feel like a failure moving home, broke and without a job. I didn’t want to face the fact that I would have to stay in this small town for another six months while I get my feet back on the ground, earn some money and figure out my next adventure. But I couldn’t be luckier, and I know that. I have parents that will take me back home whenever I need. They will allow me to run away and follow my dreams of seeing the world while letting me spend my money and come home empty handed (( minus all the life experiences I am lucky to be pocketing ))
I am lucky that my parents love me so much to allow me to let me go where the wind takes me — I am lucky to have such a beautiful home to come home to.
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It’s been eight days since I’ve been back in Maine and I started working as a Marketing Assistant for a Non-Profit Company in Portland, Maine. I’ve signed on to do a marketing project for Kennebunk Dentistry and I am looking to keep promoting my photography on the side. I have two exhibits for the First Friday Art Walk in Portland for June & July this summer. I have a wedding to shoot in August. I can’t say it’s been an easy transition being home, but I’m trying my hardest to make it easy.
It’s just the beginning, but I’m excited to see where this summer will take me. It’s about making the best of where you are — that’s the most important thing I learnt these past three months in Europe. You have to chose to be happy, because if you don’t, you simply won’t be. So, in this moment it begins. I am happy. I am in Maine. I am loved. This will be an amazing summer that I’l never forget. And cheers to everyone who helps make it memorable.